aye
should be doing homework but sat here typing this instead
anyway
life's been so boring lately, nothing much on, not doing much other than work. sometimes this gets me thinking, why? dad's been asking me for a day that he can take both of us out but i found myself telling him probably not yet, not done with my homework, alot more left to do. then everyday i find myself yet again wasting time, not following my plan and try to buck up, ending up either on the phone or ipad. i dont know why but it sucks it really sucks. it makes me feel so imcompetent, useless, hopeless.
i mean i dont feel that way just because i have alot of work and i'm lazy. i really am lazy when it comes to work. but i find it really strange why sometimes when you say you're gonna do something you just end up not doing it, and then coming up with an excuse as an effort to make yourself feel better? that kinda sucks.
honestly i want to do many things, but i just dont do it. and the excuse i give to myself? you're too busy, forget it you won't have time. well i think it sucks. i feel that this might not be only because of laziness, but a lack of confidence also comes in to play. we are always told to step out of our comfort zones, try new things, go new places, but we don't. well at least i somehow don't end up doing it. i personally find myself saying oh i wanna do this, wanna buy that, wanna go there, wanna try that... but no it never happens. and believe me or not this makes me really pissed with myslef and to a point where sometimes i hate mysef.
what if i had the confidence to do things i always wanted to do? what if i had the confidence to try new things? would life be any different?
change. change is something big that i'm afraid of. i want change but i don't have the confidence to. do you have that confidence? do you feel the same way as me, just that you are not afraid of a change? i urge you to go for that change, go out and do things, make your mark in this world, and not just sit down and talk about it, and never putting it into real actions. don't be afraid of change, embrace it.
xx
kel
No comments:
Post a Comment